disclaimer here!
cchms
np!
sunrise and sunsets!
being alone
the night sky
the smell of kiwi and chlorine
sumone
almost started crying writing the damn damn reflection for np... wtf. dunn0 what went into me. juz.. i dunno it's called crapping or maybe it's really just my reflection or is it more like a complaint letter? i dont know. juz. write till like. more than one and a half page by pen liao... it feels like the end of the world where everything just seem as horrible. good or bad. those memories. those great times i had seems so far away. and it hurts so much just to think of the happy times. and just as much to remind me of the fucking mess my family's facing now. can anything juz be neutral? i know it's sorta hanging dirty linen in the public but i dont care anymore. i've bottled up enough things to create an atomic bomb to kill me. just me. and if i ever get dead it too affect the people around me greatly. that's my defination of an atomic bomb. ones that kills you and affect others. reading at the essay written by zheyu. i seriously dun understand the true meaning of it. but part of it leads me to thinking of myself. yea. i've decided to leave the past behind and git goin. but im always back to square one. the horizon between to stay in the past or move forward to the future and face it. why? cause im scared. scared of this damn reality so harsh. nothing's goin rite. nothing. whatever my mum is doing juz makes me worse. treats me like a princess or her most precious thing in her life this minute and like she hated me and wants me to get out and never come back the next. hey yenling. high five. guess we cant avoid our sister fate huh? miss ya.. miss the bouncing tigger who now is more overwhelmed by worries than joy. and i guess i better get going to cook lunch at twelve. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SO GREAT JUZ BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK AND PREPARE LUNCH. wonder what's their fucking problem making a fuss over juz cause i know how to cook and prepare lunch and i got into chung cheng and not methodist girls school or dunman with my fucking score which seemed good to them and shit by my mum. what's the point. trying to agitate me? woah. fine. i dunno what kind of reflection im writing and i shall let them decide. cause i might be bias. pump me for all they want if they find the content disapproving. im just stating the fact. juz the plain old facts and problems we're facing since last year and too the dramatic change since last year till now that we cannot really cope with yet.
Labels: thank whoever that made this mess in my life. thank me.
Just Let It Out